Archive for July 18, 2007

YTMND: Black People Love Kool-Aid

July 18, 2007

Kool-Aid

It might be the advertising speaking but according to Kraft, the makers, black people really like Kool-Aid…A LOT! Maybe it is the sweet flavor, the bright colors, or the fact that for 25 cents you end up with a ton of delicious liquid to imbibe. But why do they like it? Even Yahoo Answers has tried to tackle the question. Over at Urban Dictionary this breakdown:

The universal drink of the ghetto.
Comes in many flavors such as grape, cherry, blueberry etc, but known to the ghetto natives as red, purple, etc.

All I know is that with some grits and chicken, grape Kool-Aid rocks. Gotta love growing up in the South.

OH YEAH!

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Dork Casts Virgin Forever-oosa With Harry Potter Computer “Spells”

July 18, 2007

Harr Potter Virgin

In what is to be a surefire way to guarantee that this man never sees a vagina, he has hooked up his computer to respond to voice commands that control his computer. But never would a 1337 h4xxz0r like him use english, such as “Open Internet” for example. He uses Harry Potter derived “spells” to do so.

Now I am not saying that Harry Potter is for sexless dorks, even I enjoy the movies. That’s right, even the sex machine MaoChan enjoys Potter. But could you imagine a girl’s reaction to this when he is sitting there yelling out retarded commands to just turn on iTunes. You gotta do it slick like I do with one finger snap. The lights go down and the Barry White turns on. OOOHHH BABY!!

Wanna See My Wand?

Japan, Creator of The Super Toilets

July 18, 2007

Japanese Super Toilets

While the rest of my body was in Japan, my derrière was in heaven. A country that has invested lots of time into designing toilets, Japan can say that they properly pamper the pooper. Not many people realize but toilets around the world are different. Japan is home to not only the greatest super toilets ever but also the most horrible, vile, ancient-pit-of-shit style toilets as well.

Computer controlled and with functions such as a fart deodorizer, these machinations of mire will even heat the water they wash you with. Available in America, albiet at steep cost, these turd tidiers are nothing short of amazing. I will be investing in one of these asap, my anus demands it.

Toto Washlet.