“I Have a Bad Case of Diarrhea”
We have all been there, especially while traveling. You are walking around, enjoying the sounds and lights of a different locale. You spy a local girl, move over and start talking in your gibberish that you think is smooth and she might think is cute (actually thinks you are stupid for approaching in the first place). You grab a small knickknack off an old man’s fruit cart and make a comment. Just as she is laughing at your horrible pronunciation of the word “pretty”, the low guttural sound starts to emanate from your intestinal tract. So you then, in all your foreign tackiness, stand up on the local fountain and proclaim to all in the vicinity, “I have a bad case of diarrhea!”
You too now can be a pooping Lothario and have the ladies swooning from your deft skills in language and from the putrid odor you might just unleash upon their fair lands. Remember to travel with some stomach pills when you go to a strange land.