Archive for January 2008

Glasses Change Everything

January 30, 2008

Glasses Change Everything

I didn’t become smarter or more likable when I got glasses….. never mind I did. Glasses changed everything, blue became green, onion soup tastes like chicken soup, and $1 soda vending machines now only charge 50 cents. You have to remember, first you get the glasses, then you get the power, then you get the women.

The day I walked out of the optometrist’s office was like being born. As I came out into the bright sunny day, I felt the wind lap at my warm skin. Just then a man in leather approached me and said, “John Conner. Come with me if you want to live.” From I went on to lead the human resistance against SkyNet. True story, it was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis big I tell you what.



January 29, 2008

I don’t know what the fuck this is all about, sure it involves how to cook Magic Mushrooms but…..

All I know is that with no speakers on, this is even weirder to watch. Especially if you just watch around 1:35, I think that is what you see when you walk into the foyer of hell.

Via the Soapbox.

MaoChan is Busy

January 29, 2008

Busy Little Bee

He knew they were busy little bees. And one night he sat down with one of them and he looked at her and he said, “Tell me what you’ve been doing busy little bee or I shall strike down those dearest to you. You shall watch as I bathe in their blood.”

Sorry for the spotty updates but work has been kicking my ass. It is the kind of thing that makes me wish I still had the Shiner Black keg around after a long day. No promises but I will try to be better, now if only I didn’t have to waste 10 hours on one file then everything would be good.

Haneru no Tobira: Bikini Goo Men New Year’s Slide

January 25, 2008

So last night, the Misses saw yesterdays post and was all “Again with the boobs, do you think of anything else?” Well in actuality probably not. I am sure that all men think of is Steak and Tits. Well this is for you ladies and not so straight fellas, a special New Year’s edition of Haneru no Tobira. The gag? To cover your sexy self with goo and slide down while the host is in drag. It is nothing but hot bikini men covered in goo while sliding around action. Cuz that is what ladies want. Also Lunar New Year is soon approaching and thus a giant rat is shown on the floor.

The Rat (鼠) was welcomed in ancient times as a protector and bringer of material prosperity. It is an animal associated with aggression, wealth, charm, and order, yet also associated with death, war, the occult, pestilence, and atrocities. In the Chinese Zodiac, the Year of the Rat is associated with the earthly branch symbol 子.

From my Haneru no Tobira drug peddler, Japan Probe.

Kozue Chihara

January 24, 2008

MaoChan had covered in this post about some massive girl on girl motorboating action. Well, after a long search (none actually) and a few trips in the Mystery Machine, the case of what the fuck is the name of that awesome show has been solved.

The show is called Miniskirt Police and the girl is Kozue Chihara こずえ. She is an “Osaka native was a former race queen before moving to the TV world and who dreams of a Jpop career.” Wow a race queen and a…… who cares. More clips of her “talent” and “abilities” after the link.


*Hopefully this also makes up for missing a few posts here and there. If not, screw you too.

Stephen Hawking-isms

January 24, 2008

Lego Hawking

Truth is I just really wanted to post this picture but then I read the quotes and they are really good. They are all care of the great robot voice himself, Stephen Hawking. What most people don’t realize is that the Star Child himself was not always a gimp, he wasn’t born this way. He is afflicted with Lou Gehrig’s Disease and before that was a very active person at Oxford, where “he coxed a rowing team, which, he stated, helped relieve his immense boredom at the university.”

He is one man who I bet who had a roommate that felt that no matter what, he always looked like a whiny bitch compared to his roommate when it came to complaining about the workload.

The cosmos.

Cyanide and Happiness

January 22, 2008

Cyanide and Happiness

While the above comic might make you think that Cyanide and Happiness is nothing but a comic about copious amounts of lube and anal sex with men, I can assure you that it is not. Just as in life, there is more to it than just anal sex.

From the strange and to the sometimes almost nonsensical, the comic provides a look at situations in life. Maybe not your life but definitely mine. The randomness and acts of violence towards strangers. I didn’t mean the 12 man butt orgy you jerks.