I didn’t become smarter or more likable when I got glasses….. never mind I did. Glasses changed everything, blue became green, onion soup tastes like chicken soup, and $1 soda vending machines now only charge 50 cents. You have to remember, first you get the glasses, then you get the power, then you get the women.
The day I walked out of the optometrist’s office was like being born. As I came out into the bright sunny day, I felt the wind lap at my warm skin. Just then a man in leather approached me and said, “John Conner. Come with me if you want to live.” From I went on to lead the human resistance against SkyNet. True story, it was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis big I tell you what.