Archive for February 2008

Calliope is Paranoid Cat

February 29, 2008

Calliope is Paranoid Cat

And iz takin precaushuns. Please go over to I Can Has Cheezburger and vote for Calliope to get her on the front page cuz she is so cute.

Cat.

Half Life: Full Life Consequences

February 28, 2008

Sometimes in the galaxy, a retard gains the ability to write. And when they try to write a story, say a fan fiction of Half Life, you end up with something so horribly stupid you wish you didn’t have eyes. But when someone takes that story, adds some Gary’s Mod footage, and reads it aloud to a soundtrack out of 1940, then you are left with comedic gold.

If you are wondering about the adventures of John Freeman after the events of part 1, there is a part two to satisfy your urges. Hit the jump to watch part 2, Half-Life: Full-life Consequences 2: What Has Tobe Done.

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Remembering the Brave

February 25, 2008

Kevin Mowl Sunlight

Decisions are made and choices are had. People make bad ones and some make valiant ones. One of the good ones was when Kevin Mowl decided to join the United States Armed Forces and fight for his country in the US Army:

In November 2004, Kevin proudly graduated from basic training and committed the next four years to serving and protecting our country. Kevin packed his bags and joined his unit at Fort Lewis, WA. Since his deployment to Iraq in June 2006, Kevin has been patrolling with the Alpha Company, 2nd Batallion, 3rd Infantry Regiment, 3rd Stryker Brigade Combat Team. Kevin has held various positions including stryker driver, SAW gunner and radio telephone operator.

On August 2, 2007 an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. In this blast, Kevin suffered multiple fractures to his face, arms, legs and back as well as a severe head injury.

It was early today that news came that at 10:13AM, Kevin passed away. It is always a sad time when someone passes on, but it can be said that Kevin did something brave, something noble, something to be commended for. He gave so others wouldn’t.

The deepest, heart felt wishes go out from Mr. & Mrs. MaoChan.

Hero. Soldier.

Zelda Mobile

February 22, 2008

Zelda Mobile

If you don’t like Zelda, if you don’t crave Zelda, if you think Link is homo, then you need to go die in a fire right now. There are very few games that you can go back to each time that sucks you in like a Zelda game. From Link to the Past to Twilight Princess, there is a level of quality that Zelda brings that is rarely found in gaming. But it is more than production value, it is a feeling of true adventure. And now you can take it along with you. Fully redone and reprogrammed, the original Zelda has been remade with the GBA graphics palette (Minnish Cap/Four Swords) but for your Java enabled phone.

I just downloaded the game and it is one of, if not, the best cell phone game out there. It was easy to install and get going. If you are wondering, I am currently using a Motorola SLVR L7e from Hong Kong. So even though it was very easy for me to get it going it might not be so easy for you. Also if you were wondering, my favorite Zelda of all time is Link’s Awakening DX. Nothing beats the giant egg.

HEY! Listen!!

Happy Cat Day

February 22, 2008

Calliope Upclose

Today is 2/22 aka Happy Cat Day!! We celebrate those cats which invade our lives and poop in boxes while you try to eat dinner but get distracted by the fumes. They provide humor, annoyance, love, and fur. I was never a cat person until I went to Japan and had to live with two cats, Anko and Kinako. Anko was a fucking prissy bitch who would scratch and shit on the floor. Kinako was by buddy who would come sleep with me and in general hang out in my room. Thanks to Kinako I became a cat fancier, Anko just made me hate 2am Saturday toilet trips as there would be shit everywhere.

Since the passing of Mao, we have been living now with the very goofy and cute Calliope. That is her above and you can hit the jump for two more pictures.

Cat.

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De Nyew Testament: Praez Da Man

February 21, 2008

Gullah NT

Now fo you go dun hatin tha MaoChan is hatin, reed this. Gullah is a real thing, with studies by Purdue’s Black Cultural Center and others on the preservation of Gullah. But now even if that is all you speak, you can now be praising the Lord along with all the others. Here is another example:

John 13:34-35

An now A da gii oona a nyew chaage. Oona fa lob one noda. Same fashion A done lob oona, same fashion oona fa lob one noda. Ef oona da lob one noda, ebrybody gwine know dat oona me ciple dem.

Yeah….. I think I got it, “Sala means jerk and Manjula means some kind of spaceship.”

Biblez.

Fo Reelz Yo!

Things Men Say But Don’t Mean

February 19, 2008

Macho Paradox

Men are a mystery to women, just as women are weird tampon using freaks in our eyes. But there are things woman say about guys this is very true, like when they say we don’t always say what we mean. Sure this doesn’t apply to everything we say but next time your man says, “Oh boy your meatloaf is great!” he might really be saying “I rather have sex with it than put in my body that gross concoction.”

Don’t worry because not all guys do this all the time, just sometimes. Like when we say “We need to catch up soon over a beer.” that usually just means “I want to be pleasant but I really don’t want to hang out with you.” But then again who would want to hang out with some jerk who poops on your rug. That’s right, I am talking to you.

Blah blah blah.